{"id":195,"date":"2021-06-17T16:38:22","date_gmt":"2021-06-17T16:38:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/?p=195"},"modified":"2021-06-17T17:30:40","modified_gmt":"2021-06-17T17:30:40","slug":"this-week-in-weather","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/2021\/06\/17\/this-week-in-weather\/","title":{"rendered":"This Week in Weather"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
The beach, mostly empty due to sea monsters and giant sand crabs at this time of year<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Tips for Beachcombing this summer in Northern Oregon \/ Southern Washington<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Brought to you by the coalition of praying churches in the Dysmal Nitch area.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Be on the lookout for monstrous things from sea and sky.<\/li>
  • Check out the tide table and go 3-4 hours after high-tide (the tide will be outgoing). Look for tide pools and flotsam line. <\/li>
  • Don’t make eye contact with seagulls. <\/li>
  • Bald Eagles do NOT make “hawk” noises as-seen-on-tv — please don’t make fun of our Eagles twinkling musical flute sounds. It hurts their feelings.<\/li>
  • Never misidentify our local wildlife. NEVER. And gees, do not call the local migrational buzzards “falcons” <– this makes local citizens have bleeding ears. <\/li>
  • Bring a walking stick<\/li>
  • Never turn your back to the ocean<\/li>
  • Go with a local who can keep you out of harms way<\/li>
  • You’ll sunburn much faster near the water even on an overcast day, so wear a hat, scarf, or full hazmat suit.<\/li>
  • There are lots of arbitrary rules not just for the coast but the section of coast you may find yourself standing on, make sure to abide by all of them and touch nothing. <\/li>
  • The water in the ocean here is artic in origin and dangerously cold. <\/li>
  • Yes there are sharks. <\/li>
  • There are dozens of ways to die in and around the ocean.<\/li>
  • Have fun! <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
    \"\"
    Sign warning visitors to smile and not intimidate, mock or otherwise instigate an incident with sand crabs and definitely do not misidentify local wildlife. It’s just rude.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    The communist jellyfish combine off the coast has demanded that the beach remain off limits to tourists as they get up to no good after sundown. We at the church suspiciously monitor the situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    Here is a crab coming to visit his friends the seagull. Just like Isiah in the Bible he is about to learn a harsh lesson in reasonable judgement of associates. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"
    All washed up, these lovely shelled denizens of the ocean are trying to reach the promised land, but unfortunately will probably get eaten by gulls.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    One of these snails (photo above) was not a snail. Sometimes life is like that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"
    You’re a star too – but maybe having a better day than this purple sea star that has washed up on shore. <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    Take only photos, leave only footprints, scream into a bag. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    This has been the week in weather – more sun is forecasted to be followed by raging forest fires, low air quality and absolute terror. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Enjoy! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"
    mule deer – not the brightest<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Tantalizing sunshine, well-behaved placid ocean waves and an abundance of rain from last week has nature bursting at the seems. Mosquitoes and tourists move in, double of last years infestation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":198,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10,49,4,48],"tags":[81,80],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=195"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":208,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions\/208"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}