{"id":128,"date":"2026-04-12T09:17:08","date_gmt":"2026-04-12T16:17:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/?p=128"},"modified":"2026-05-11T10:48:09","modified_gmt":"2026-05-11T17:48:09","slug":"april-tourist-watch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/2026\/04\/12\/april-tourist-watch\/","title":{"rendered":"April Tourist Watch"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Tourist Watch<\/strong>: Tourism was mostly quiet, aside from the usual misunderstandings, a brief bear mace incident in Sporting Goods involving a bag and a lighter, and the indoor rainfall situation from several fluorescent lighting fixtures that management decided was not, technically, a reason to close early. There is a 75% off sale on soaked beach towels, isle 5. The naked man pressed against the front display window was asked to leave around 10am after planting his hairy belly and face against the glass around 8:30 – but we are still trying to ascertain his motivation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antonio had an interaction with a Portlander while stocking this week that we would like to share as a tale of caution as tourist season hits full swing. Antonio was born with Achondroplasia Dwarfism and this is his first tourist season on the floor stocking. He is attending our local community college and working part time. Antonio says his interests when not working are skateboarding and collecting manga. Antonio said his favorite class in high school was drama but he also enjoyed playing soccer with our community team The Dysmal Osprey. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antonio: “I was stocking when my price gun jammed up, so I was trying to fix it, and she just kneels down in front of me out of nowhere and makes creepy eye contact” he reports, “then she starts talking to me…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, “I’ve seen people just like you overcome – sometimes what we think is permanent, is just life testing our faith. You can\u2019t give up now, recovery is always a possibility if you stay positive. One day you\u2019ll look back on this as just a phase you overcame. You just have to keep believing\u2014miracles happen every day if your mindset is strong enough.'”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“What did I say? Well, I was shocked, I muttered…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay. \u2026well…It\u2019s genetic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She added, “would you mind if we took a photo together? I want to share this with my FedBook group!” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m not the camel at the mall people go get a photo with. So I tell her I can’t, “digital photos don’t work on me, I always appear blurry. I can only be photographed with analog film cameras.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She stares into my eyes and quietly says, “Oh my god, that must be so hard \ud83d\ude22” Then she wandered away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antonio was offered the rest of the afternoon off with pay, but he had a Coke in the break room and went back to work. No further incidences this Tuesday. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tourist Watch: Tourism was mostly quiet, aside from the usual misunderstandings, a brief bear mace incident in Sporting Goods involving a bag and a lighter, and the indoor rainfall situation from several fluorescent lighting fixtures that management decided was not, technically, a reason to close early. There is a 75%Continue Reading<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,31],"tags":[15,11,12],"class_list":["entry","author-paula","post-128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-absurdity","category-tourism","tag-mortality","tag-pnw","tag-washington-state"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=128"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":146,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions\/146"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}