“you might wonder where the term ‘hit me like a lead pickle upside ma’ head’ comes from, and you may be surprised it was from a consensual relationship between an ex-con and an alien.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ronny Dutch’s brother who hates women\u2026.I mean really hates them. Hates his own sister enough to photoshop an extra chin and 30+lbs onto her wedding pic and post it publicly to Facegroup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He notoriously is anti-female in every comment section advocating ‘just pay for it – never marry a bitch.’<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then at a bar one night there is a 10, and she’s interested in him. Buys him a beer, asks him to play a game of pool, allows him to win. Things move quickly. Soon his life revolves around her and as he tries his controlling typical behaviors he’s astounded, not only do they not work, and not impact her self-esteem by 1% but she outsmarts him at every turn setting up elaborate plays in which he ends up broke, hurting and desperate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dutch has met a parasitic alien who has moved in and feeds on his every negative thought and emotion like dining at White Castle. He even tries to get physically violent – but that doesn’t work either, where did that ballbat come from? She beats the ever living shit out of her, “go ahead, call the police – you have a rap sheet a mile long. I have proof you hit me” (produces video from hidden camera of him getting violent – cuts conveniently before she beats the crap out of him\u2026.”you fell as you were chasing me and I was trying to escape.” She lights up a cigarette and laughs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yup alien parasites are becoming more and more of a problem on this planet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Next up …extremely committed parents with terrible timing<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Local says they love being coddled and taken care of and live in luxury. “you might wonder where the term ‘hit me like a lead pickle upside ma’ head’ comes from, and you may be surprised it was from a consensual relationship between an ex-con and an alien.” Ronny Dutch’sContinue Reading<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":152,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,35],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-paula","post-150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-absurdity","category-aliens"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":153,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions\/153"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dysmalnitch.com\/journal\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}