Claim long hours and dysmal climate are inhumane. Refuse to budge until hay is provided.
The local herd turned to violence on Wednesday as several juvenile freshly planted mandarin orange trees were pulled out of the ground in Mrs. Smiths yard. “I bought them at a green house in Portland, they’re grafted onto a hardier root system and they are a mandarin orange. I really wanted to see if I could grow an orange tree this far north… It would be so interesting you know? But those damn asshole elk pulled them up.” Reports claim her neighbors said, ‘no way those trees were going to live anyway.’
Instead of entertaining and posing for photos with tourists, the local herd has been lounging about, laying in yards, and doing unspeakable horror to over wintering gardens.
Community member Grace Peterson said they were on her deck and drank the contents of a hummingbird feeder (we have hummingbirds that refuse to migrate out, they are dependent on handouts…bum-ingbirds) before eating all the sunflower seeds and pooping on her stairs. She added that they blocked her driveway for several hours laying down and chewing their cud.
Elk Herd United said it is prepared to escalate the strike if the state park does not deliver a contract and “resolve unfair labor practices.”
“What their requests to date have been, has been unreasonable,” Niccol said. “We’re willing to, you know, negotiate and have ’em come back to the pasture and find a solution.”
Council will meet on Friday to vote on the hay-for-elk situation, until then they suggest the elk keep working, keep grazing in approved pastures, and posing for group photos for tourists. Quietly people in town are worried the situation may get worse before it gets better if an agreement is not immediately reached.
